Forget me not
by kate9594
Summary: A story about Christian losing his memory in an accident at work. will Ana be able to help him remember who she is and there kids or will he go back to his old fifty ways. Just to clear up this is not a cheating story.
1. Chapter 1

**Very important! Please read this! in my version of events Teddy is now 13 and Phoebe is only 4 so there's a different age gap between them then there was in the original book. I do not own fifty shades of grey trilogy.**

Sitting in my office of greys publishing looking down at a picture of my four year old daughter and thirteen year old son I felt blessed. They were growing up well and they couldn't ask for more with a father like Christian always making sure they got what they needed. Could my life get any better I didn't think so. Never would have I thought that at the age of thirty five would I be happily married with two beautiful children not to mention talking about having a third.

My new assistant Hayley pulled me out of my train of thought by knocking softly on my door and entering.

"Miss Grey it's the end of the day and you have to go pick up Teddy from school"

Ah thank god someone reminded me that wouldn't have gone down to well with Mr Grey if I were to forget about his son.

"Thanks Hayley I'm leaving now send out all my draft emails please"

"No problem"

I knew Taylor could pick Teddy up no problem but still that was something I wanted to do, that's something a mother should do and that was one of the conditions for me staying on to work at grey's publishing I still got to do my job as a mother aswel.

As I pulled up at the school my phone vibrated against my leg in my pocket seeing who it was I was more than happy to accept the call .

"Hello Mr grey" I breathed a sigh of relief waiting to hear his voice

"Ana" he sighed drinking in my voice before he started to rant "Are you picking Teddy up? I have Phoebe here at the office with me if you could collect her here day-care called and told me she was unwell and I know you done like Gail looking after the kids except in the evening time so she's here with me"

"Yeah Teddys just climbing into the jeep now I'll be there in ten minutes is she all right?" I knew she was probley perfect but still I was anxious that there could be something wrong.

"Yeah she's fine just a little chesty she's having great fun sorting through all my files and eating chocolate" he giggled on that last bit and I giggled too realising if she's eating chocolate she's more than likely not that sick at all.

I put the phone down and turned in the car to talk to Teddy.

"So munchkin how are you?"

"I'm fine mom do you have to pick up Phoebe? We'll be late for soccer? That's ten minutes out of our route?"

"So? If we're ten minutes late we're ten minutes late" Sometimes he can be so like his father These Greys can be so difficult.

We pulled up outside Christian's office and there he was waiting with Phoebe in his arms after buckling her in and getting the third degree off Teddy he kissed my goodbye.

"I love you Ana" he smiled.

"I lov…." I was cut off.

"MOM! For god sake we're ten minutes late already you can do your long goodbyes later." he has a temper like his father.

"Hey Theodore relax all right soccer will be there later aswel" Christian started to take on more of an assertive tone with Teddy last month when his hormones kicked in and I couldn't be more grateful. It wasn't Teddys fault that he was acting out more, he's growing into puberty.

"Shtop shouting at mommbeey" Phoebe screeched at Teddy and threw her dolly.

"Okay now that's enough. Teddy relax and Phoebe its not nice to throw things say sorry to Teddy… As you can see we have to go" I gave him a quick smile and then headed to soccer practice with Teddy and Phoebe in tow.

Me and Phoebe parked up as we waited for Teddy's practice to be over she told me all about her day the best she could but all I really got was that she had lots of chocolate with Daddy. I have to hold up my finger to get her to pause as my phone rings and Taylors name flashes up on the screen.

"Hello Taylor" I say with a smile in my voice as I watch Teddy get the ball and score.

"Yay Teddy Sco" Phoebe shouts in the back ground

"Ssh Ssh Mommies on the phone baby… sorry Taylor what's up?"

"Mrs Grey…" Theres a long pause "you should meet us at the hospital Mr Grey has had a fall"

My whole world crashes down around me. I don't like the tone of Taylor's voice.

"Is it serious? Let me talk to him?" I am panicking on the inside but for Phoebe's sake I relax my voice and for Teddy's sake I smile and wave.

"You can't Mrs Grey he's not awake… Just come to hospital where Grace works… I'll explain everything then, please Mrs Grey?" he sounds like he's almost begging.

"Okay" I try not to let my voice crack.

"Mrs Grey drive carefully" he speaks with a whisper and then hangs up the phone.

I take three deep breathes, wipe the tears from my eyes and then turn to phoebe.

"Mommy will be back in just one minute. Okay one little minute"

I jump out of the jeep Christian insisted on me driving for safety and gesture for Teddy to come over to me. He does with easy strides and I realise that my little boy is turning into a little man.

"Whats up? Why are you crying?" He looks just like Christian when he's concerned.

"Ted we have to go Dads had an accident at work and we need to go to the hospital" I explain as much as I know and then start tugging him towards the jeep.

"What happened? Is he okay? Mom! Stop pulling and tell me!" Teddy Stands and demands answers. Well I bloody well don't have any answers.

"Look Teddy Phoebes in the jeep we cant talk about it infront of her and we cant leave her on her own so get in the jeep and we'll talk about it at the hospital ok?"

Finally he see's reason and gets into the jeep beside his sister.

"Whots wong?" she asked a ripple in her voice like she's going to cry.

"Nothings wrong Phoebe come on and tell me the name of your doll" Teddy soothes as I pull out of the soccer park.

In that very moment I thank god for Theodore Grey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two weeks later**

The swelling on Christian's brain has gone down and the doctors are finally taking him out of his induced coma. It's hard for Phoebe to understand but Teddy is doing his best to soothe her at night by reading her bed time stories which usually Christians job. I feel bad for not being with Phoebe and Teddy as often as I can but Christian needs me by his bedside. I know he'd do the same for me.

Over the last two weeks Taylor has explained what happened to my husband. He was on the phone typing and email while walking down the stairs at the office and tripped and fell down ten steps hitting his head numerous of times. His skull is fractured and he has many of numerous bruises and cuts he cracked three ribs aswel but they're the least of his worries.

It's funny when I used to picture women's husbands having "accidents" at work I always pictured them husbands working on a building site or something, but no, accidents can happen at just a normal day at the office.

I've been waiting for this moment for what feels like ten years to look into the grey eyes of my dear Christian. I know there's still a lot of recovery time for a brain injury but we'll get through it. I'll get through it as long as I have my Christian Grey.

Doctor Redmond pulls me out of yet another day dream by tugging on my arm.

"Mrs Grey are you ready?" He ask's looking pleased as he see's the smile spread across my face. Ive asked Grace to join me in welcoming Christian back after all he is her son, and I know how I'd feel if it was Teddy.

"Now remember Mrs Grey this might not be successful" The good doctor warns not to get my hopes up.

"But you said theres a good chance? Right? It might happen?" I ask thinking that somethings being kept from me.

"Yes Mrs Grey there's a good chance" His smile is reassuring and I hold on hope to that.

Doctor Redmond steps around aside Christian pulling at tube's and injecting into I.V's he looks so helpless as they pull and tug as gently as possible. Grace lets me know everything there doing everytime they do it. The last thing to do is remove his breathing tube, so he can speak but he'll more than likely need a drink of water first only small sips though. He'll only be allowed small sips. Each second feels like ten minutes and I grow more and more impatient.

"Why isn't anything happening" I almost demand feeling a tad bit guilty for be moody, and almost seconds later. Grey eyes meet blue.

He coughs a little and looks momentarily confused. I come closer and sit in the chair beside him as Grace clasps her hands together in prayer.

"Oh God Christian, Your awake, Oh thank god Baby" I sob and grab hold of his hand but am shocked when he pulls it away. It takes a while for me register the look on his face but when I do it hits me like a ton of bricks. Confusion. He doesn't recognise me. Doctor Redmond catches up on this as does Grace.

I try again.

"Christian, its me? Ana? Your wife?" at this he laughs and then a pang of pain crosses his face as he clutches his ribs. He opens his mouth to speak we all wait.

"Apologise Ma'am but my brother has obliviously *cough* put you up to this *cough* and you can let my incoherent brother know that its not funny and I don't nor will I ever have a wife"

His words slice through me like glass and I quickly want to run from the room. I look down at my wedding band and then look at Christians he spots this and laughs even further coughing along the way.

"God Elliot you're good" he whispears to himself as he tosses the ring from his finger onto the nighstand like it's nothing. My heart breaks.

"You can leave now Mrs…?" before I have a chance to scream Mrs Grey MY NAME IS MRS ANASTASIA GREY! the doctor interrupts.

"Christian why do you think you're here?" the doctor looks interested to find out.

Christian draws his eyes away from me where I'm falling apart to look the doctor in the eye.

"I'm scheduled to get my appendix out tomorrow… What the hell is going on this is getting ridiculous" he's getting frustrated now. I can tell. I can always tell.

"Christian you got youre appendix removed in 2009?... Christian its 2025" Graces voice pipes up from the end of the bed.

Christian goes through this in his head and then grabs at the newspaper to check the date on his nightstand along side the abandoned wedding ring. He flicks on the t'v as if the newspaper wasn't enough to convince him. This is too hard to watch I need to leave and right on cue Taylor walks in.

"Taylor…" Christian's voice fades away as he catches the glimpses of grey in Taylors hair more proof of the time passing him by.

Taylors eyes alight when he see's Christian in the awake in the hospital bed, its as if he's met a long lost friend.

"What year is it Taylor and don't lie to me?" Christian demands going into full CEO mode.

"2025 Sir…"

"Is that my wife Taylor?" Christian asks frustration and anger soaked in his voice. Why is he angry. Was he this angry when we first met?... Yes, Yes he was because he was broken then and I fixed him. Can you fix something that's been broken so many times? I wondered to myself.

"Yes, This is Mrs Anastasia Grey" Taylor introduced me to my husband and to be honest he seemed like a prick.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews:) I hope you enjoy the rest of the story:)**

Picking up on whats going on Taylor speaks to me in almost code after being excused by Christian.

"Ana there's two very important people in the hall that are waiting anxiously" Taylor looks uncomfortable hiding things from Christian but he's knows better then to mention the kids. I don't think he's ready for that, but what will I tell them, especially Phoebe she wont understand a thing. I shouldn't have told them that he's waking up today how could I have been so stupid? I look at Doctor Redmond and he shakes his head indicating that now is not a good time. Christian knows that we're keeping more from him but I don't think he wants to know himself. I think he knows that he can take anymore.

I walk out into the hall and meet the faces of my two beautiful children I cant bring myself to tell the truth so I find myself making up a lie.

"He's just really tired okay… Lets go home and I'll come back tomorrow and see if he's up to visitors and then you guys can come see him sound good?" I try smile and Teddy knows there's something up but like his father he doesn't press it further.

"Dwaddy dwont want to shee us mommbeeey?" Phoebe asks heatbroken.

"Of course he wants to see you he's really tired and needs a nap like remember when you get tired during the day and you need a nap? Well Daddy's going for a nap sweetie okay? Now go on with Sawyer and I'll meet you at the car" I give them my best fake smile as I watch Sawyer scoop Phoebe up in protecting arms.

I take a few deep breathes before entering the room again. Its clear Ive interrupted a deep conversation between Grace and Christian and its clear I was the topic of conversation. At this stage I'm wearing a long sleaved soft purple top and a pair of dark jeans and boots looking less then attractive… my hair is tied back but strand's keep trying to invade my face I push them away before I start to speak.

"We're going home for the evening there's things to attend to at home" I direct this more at Grace than anyone else in the room she knows when I say things to attend to I'm talking about the Kids.

I don't know why I feel self-conscious. That man in the bed is still my husband and if I want to go over and kiss his forehead and say goodbye I will. I take easy single strides as I walk over to the chair beside the bed where my purse and jacket are. I look into Christians eyes and I know my fifty is in there somewhere. I lean forward quickly before I can change my mind and plant a soft kiss on the top of his head I breathe in and feel an electrical charge between us even though he's tensed up. I look straight into his eyes and notice he's grinding his teeth and his hands are balled up into fist's. do I really make him this angry? Just my mere presents.

"I'll see you early tomorrow okay… I lov" I stop myself as I don't want to make him feel too weird after all he did just find out that he has a wife. He simply nods at me and then catches glimpse of something in my bag. Without any shame he places his hand into it and retrieves a baby biscuit. He holds it up and looks as me for answers.

"Theyr really good for your teeth try it… infact you keep that one" I smile hoping I convince him as hearing about not just one child but the two of them and one of them being a girl might just killed him stone dead.

"Can I have a word with yourself and Grace please" I indicate at Dr Redmond.

They both follow me out to the hall. I give Christian a reassuring smile as I can't imagine how afraid and confused he is. After the door is closed I let rip.

"What the hell happened when you were messing with his head with all those medicines you were pumping in there?" I didn't realise how furious and tired I was until now.

"Mrs Grey you know this was more than likely caused by the head trauma from impact more than anything else" I know what the doctor is saying is true but still I just want someone to blame and I cant go in roaring and screaming at my husband who was stupid enough to type an email while walking down a stairwell at the same time.

I turn to find Taylor standing behind me.

"Taylor stay with Christian tonight will you? Ring me if anything happens I have to go tend to my children" I sigh and run my hand through my hair a habit I've picked up from my husband. I talk with Grace for a few more moments and then depart from the hospital which Ive barely left for two solid weeks its nearly become my second home.

**Christians pov**

I don't understand what just happened. I don't know this woman that claims to be my wife yet seeing her so broken tears me up a little inside. And when she kissed my head I felt a weird feeling between us. I had to ball my hands in to fist's to stop me grabbing her and throwing my mouth onto hers. I know I've never felt those feelings before for other women. Yes she is the most attractive woman Ive ever seen in my life but what shocks me the most is that I don't feel the need to want to dominate her and have her as a submissive. Infact I'm shocked that at the thought of whipping this sweet woman with a leather belt makes me feel uneasy and unwell. I must talk to … If he's even still around that is…

**Ana's pov**

I get home and after having a rather less then enthusiastic meal with my children I lay Phoebe down for bed and then climb into my own big empty bed again by myself. I wonder if me and Christian will ever share a bed again. If he doesn't remember me and the children will it be easier for him to just forget about us and move on with his life? Would he be able to do that? I banish the thought from my mind as a life without Christian is too hard to imagine. I cry myself softly to sleep wrapped up in one of his t-shirts. the stars cover the sky through the window like a moth eatn curtain cover the bright sky protecting us so we sleep easier at night. Shapes and colours flick under my eyelids as I dream. I dream of Teddys Birth, Phoebes first steps and grey eyes. Grey confused eyes


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews and private messages. I'm trying to update as much as possible because I know how frustrating it can be waiting on a story:) but I'm in college so its hard to juggle writing this and doing my assignments but I'll keep on top of things as much as I can:)**

**Christians pov**

Anastasia has been here all morning we haven't really talked that much. She's very unhappy I can tell. Her eyes are red and swollen like she had been crying. A weird feeling that I've never felt before when it comes to a women washes over me when I see her face in my mind. I feel guilty. I can't help the fact that I can't remember her. I'm not a husband. I'm a CEO and that's it. I do not have love for this woman. I can't… but maybe I can? What if I'm not the person I always thought I was? What if I can have a normal relationship without the dom/sub part… no I'm being ridiculous stop it Christian for godsake. I have to banish these thoughts from my mind as I know I can never change who I am. I'll just give her a cash settlement for whatever we agreed in the pre-nup. I wouldn't have married anyone without a pre-nup I may not be able to remember the last sixteen years but I do remember that I'm a business man. I and Anastasia Grey or whatever her last name was will just go our separate ways.

I'm sitting up in bed flicking through the channels waiting on Anastasia to return with some chicken soup for my lunch she's been gone for over an hour I knew I should just of sent Taylor I'm hungry, for the person who's supposed to be my wife and know everything about me she obviously doesn't know that I don't like to be waiting when it comes to food.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" I shout at myself frustrated that I cant find my blackberry.

"Ssh" A soft angelic whisper comes from the door. It's a little girl I wouldn't say she's anymore than two. She has beautiful soft curls and precious big blue marble eyes. She looks like someone I know.

"Hello can I help you?" She stays silent. "What's your name?"

"Ebe" she answers and starts to giggle it's a beautiful noise and a very familiar noise.

"Are you lost?" The child still doesn't speak and when I call for Taylor she whispers "a-son" whatever that means. He's not answering my calls so I decide I'll take the child out into the hall where her mother most likely is. Its only my fifth time out of bed but I think I can manage. I go to take the girl by the hand but she signals for me to pick her up. I note this is very odd behaviour for a child to act like this with a stranger but I dismiss the thought. The child named Ebe is lighter than air and she smells familiar aswel god this is strange. Im never really around children but yet this doesn't feel weird. When we get out to the hall way the child is smiling and doesn't seem upset to be missing a parent. Children these days. I get into the lift and descend to the first floor where I will leave the child at the lobby with the receptionist they'l know what to do. The elevator doors open into a mess there are police standing talking to my mother and father. Mia is pacing back and fourth while Elliot has his arms wrapped around a young teenager I don't see the teens face.

Whats going on.?

"Mommy!" the child screeches deafening my right ear drum. Well that solves that.

Anastasia stands there tears streaking her face as she strides straight towards us.

She grabs the toddler out of my arms causing pain to my ribs she crushes her to her chest and chest shaking sobs ripple through her body.

"Oh thank god my baby my little baby. Where were you?" she shouts as the sobs echo through the lobby floor.

"Daddy" the toddler says and points straight at me. This. Can. Not. Be. Real.

Anastasia looks up at me and in that moment I don't know what emotion is written across her face. Relief I see mostly relief.

"I don't know where she came from. I mean Phoebe she just walked into my room and I didn't know she was…"

"Phoebe doesn't know how to pronounce her name yet how did you?..." she trails off thinking and to be honest leaves me bemused as to how I did know the childs name.. My childs name? Oh god I have a child. In that moment I don't feel well and know I must return to my room before I faint and frighten the poor thing I turn on my heels and hear Phoebe screech for her Daddy.. Screech for me.

A silent knock brings me back from thinking about the little girl called Phoebe. Ana walks in looking glorious even with puffy eyes, she's a little too thin though and for some reason I don't like it.

"Are you okay Christian?" she asks quietly.

"That's a stupid question Ana" I don't know why I just called her Ana… It just slipped out. I can nearly physically see the happiness spread through her face and body. Then that grim look on her face washes over her and I know there's more unsettling news.

"Just tell me" I whisper pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"I need to know your okay before I tell you I wont have you dying on me" she can be quite demanding when she wants to be. I like that, but I still want to know whats going on and the more she tip toes about it the more mad I get.

"Tell me" I demand going in to Dom mode. That doesn't bother her. "Your making me worry please ju…."

"Ok, ok, You've met your daughter? Yes? And trust me she cant wait to see you again… but your going to have to meet your son before that…" she physically tenses when she says the word son. I have a son, and a daughter. Oh god we better not have an infant.

"What age?" is all I can manage at this moment in time.

"Nearly fourteen… his name is Theodore or ted, teddy and teddy bear for short… he looks just like you…" she shakes her head and comes over to me on the bed. I start to panic… I have children and they know me and I don't know them. Ive missed fourteen years of my sons life. How can I be a father? How can I love them without a heart.

Her hands reach out and grasp my face and I'm not afraid of her touching me her face is now inches from mine. I think she can sense the distress.

"You're a wonderful Father Christian, you love your little boy and girl so much it hurts you sometimes you'd die for them baby" she whispers that last bit and then presses her forehead against mine.

"You're coming home tomorrow and I wanted to see if you wanted to meet Teddy here first?"

"Ana… I'm afraid me not remembering will hurt them… what if they hate me for this?" I realise now that I'm afraid of being a father even though I have been one for fourteen years already.

"Teddy knows you can't remember… he just wants to see his dad to make sure you're real and alive he just wants to touch you and make sure ok?"

I agree even though I'm afraid I know I met Phoebe without fear but that's because I didn't realise she was mine until she was out of my arms. I feel like I'm four again. Vunrable.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks again for all the reviews I'm trying to do longer chapters but with college its difficult. hope you enjoy this chapter anyway. Again thanks for the reviews:)**

**Christian's pov**

Teddy walks in looking just as afraid as I feel. He has floppy copper hair the same colour as mine, and blue eyes like Anastasia's. She was right he looks like me. There was no denying this was the son of Christian Grey.

"Dad?" he looks happy to see me but he also looks like he's talking to a stranger. He just stands there looking back and forth between me and Anastasia. I don't know what to say to him.

"Can I touch him?" he asks his mother looking scared. She stands in the corner not trying to intrude.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea Ted" she whisper at our disappointed son.

I want to tell him yes but I don't know what he wants. A hug? I don't know how I'd react.. I had Phoebe in my arms but its different she's a baby that doesn't make sense but its just different.

"Has he turned into a vegetable or something! He's just sitting there not speaking" He's defiantly my son. I laugh and this draws his attention he doesn't look pleased.

"Calm down Teddy" Ana warns in a soothing voice. Just like she warned me about our son's hormones bringing out the worst in him.

"No I won't we waited! Waited two weeks and he doesn't even remember us! He doesn't even remember you!" Tears fill his eyes out of frustration and pain. "We waited for you. She waited for you in this hospital every night and even made sure she was home in the morning so phoebe didn't realise she was gone! She cried for hours in the garage afraid we'd see and you can't even fucking remember us!" I can tell he's going to continue but I hear an almighty shout come from the corner of the room.

"Enough! Theodore Grey you do not speak to your father like that. You do not speak to anyone like that and you do not use that language speaking in front of me. I know your upset and angry and we're dealing with that. Wait in the hall and we'll talk when I come out. Wait in the hall please."

She waits until he leaves to brace herself against the hospital bed.

"Don't hold this against him Christian, he's angry and confused, please don't hate him" she begs.

"I don't… I can't even if I wanted to" I leave it at that because if I were to be honest I don't know this woman I don't feel comfortable discussing how I feel with her.

**Ana's pov**

I leave the room feeling sorry for Christian and angry at my thirteen year old.

Teddy sits against the wall on a plastic chair looking ashamed.

"What happened Ted, you knew how it would I prepared you, I know it's so hard trust me I know but you can't do that to him he's not well and this isn't his fault don't hate him for something he can't control please Teddy we didn't bring you up like that"

"I don't hate him that's the problem, If I hated him this would all be easier, but I can't I tried to hate him and I can't I love him and that's why it hurts so bad we're strangers to him he doesn't love me, how can he love someone he doesn't even know mom" Teddy cries softly into his hands. I comfort my son knowing he's right knowing it hurts more because we love him so much.

Teddy goes home with Sawyer but Phoebe refuses to leave without seeing her daddy I try and explain that he's coming home tomorrow but all she knows is that she saw him earlier and now he's gone again. I know I shouldn't risk just walking in with Phoebe in my arms but I'm so tired and I just want to go home I'm going to have to talk to Teddy about what he's going through it must be hell for him.

I walk in internally cursing myself as I do for not knocking as he stands topless wearing navy sweats that hang so sweetly from his hips. My insides clench and I swallow as I stare at the body of my husband who looks like he's been carved by the angles and gods themselves. He grabs his t-shirt to cover himself as he realises that the child is in my arms.

"Christian she's seen it all before you know? You're her father" I giggle and I see a hint of a smile on his lips and then sadness.

"I forgot" he says and drops the t-shirt again I wish to god he's put it on before I leave Phoebe with Grace and jump on this man right here right now.

"Daddy" Phoebe whispers as she leans out of my arms to be picked up by Christian. He hesitates slightly and then walks over to gather our bundle of joy in his arms. They look perfect like there was no accident, and for a moment I let myself believe there wasn't.

Phoebe cuddles into Christians chest and I see him physically tense.

"we don't have to deal with that again do we?" I ask to myself.

"Deal with what?" he asks looking confused. I didn't realise I had said it out loud.

"Nothing Christian, I was talking to myself" my phone vibrates in my pocket when I see its Kate I know I have to answer.

"Will you be okay for just two minutes I have to get this?" I ask feeling like something could go wrong if I leave them alone, he could get too emotional and It could push him over the edge, she could start to cry and he wouldn't know what to do.

"Ana I lost some of my memory but I still know how to mind a child for five minutes especially my own" I feel like an ass for treating him like a child.

I leave and answer feeling once again guilty.

"Hello"

"Hey Ana Elliot and I are heading to the hospital to visit Christian do you guys need anything" Oh thank god he won't be alone.

"No Kate me and Phoebe are just leaving, Christian saw Teddy today" I sigh knowing if I don't tell her someone will, that's why what she says next doesn't surprise me.

"I know Ana, He rang Elliot to talk about it"

"Oh great my own son can't even talk to me now… and mother of the year goes to… Katherine Grey because Ana doesn't know how to deal with her children's emotional need's, look I may go I left Phoebe in with Christian and I don't want to push him too far"

"Yeah okay and Ana you're a fantastic mother ok? Don't forget that, I'll talk to you later.

I take a minute before going back into the room and am shocked at what I see.

Christian lies on the bed with a sleeping Phoebe lying against his chest, he's put his t-shirt on while I've been on the phone and I can't help the pang of disappointment.

"She's so quiet" He whispers looking troubled. I don't know why he has that look on his face. I feel horrible that I have to move her but we have to go home to be with Teddy. I come over close and cradle her in my arms she remains asleep and I hope it will stay this way until we get out to the car I don't want another daddy meltdown.

"You'll be back tomorrow?" he asks looking slightly worried.

"I'll be here tomorrow around 10am to take you home… the kids won't be there though they're going to stay with Kate and Elliot for the night just so you can get settled in" I give him a smile but he doesn't seem to react much to what I'm saying.

"You don't have to come here… I can drive myself back to Escala" no one must of told him where he lives.

"Yeah, you could except you don't live there anymore"

"Of course… where do I live?" he asks cocking one eyebrow.

"You live with me, Teddy and Phoebe that's all you need to know for now"

"Ok I'll see you tomorrow" He looks angry when he say's this, like he doesn't like the answer I've given him as to where he lives. I want to kiss him goodbye, I want to cradle him like I'm cradling Phoebe I just want to be close to him but I know I cant because I know he doesn't want me to.

The next day starts off well as I drive to collect Christian from the hospital, speaking with the doctors they told me to refresh his memory as often as I can by doing things and going places we would have gone years ago. This will help him regain his memory, and I'll do just about anything to help him go back to the way he was a month ago. Although the doctor said to try continue life on as normal Christian won't be aloud go back to work for some time and if I'm to be honest this news doesn't upset me as I'd rather know where he is all the time, just until things go back to normal. He hasn't asked yet about Elena and I'm happy about this although I know it's only a matter of time as from what he can remember is that she's a big part of his life, I doubt no one has told him that he doesn't speak with her anymore, I'm sure he would've mentioned it to me by now.

Its raining when I get to the hospital, and I start to wonder what the children will be doing for the day since they won't be outside playing in the rain. I remind myself to make sure I ring them later and ring Kate and Elliot to let them know how he's settling in. If I was to be honest with myself I'm completely terrified about being alone with this glorious, dark man.

"You're late" he states while sitting at the end of the bed wearing jeans and white sweater, never mind looking like he had been carved by angels, he looks like an angel "Mrs Steele its eleven o'clock you're late" who told him what my last name was? I decide not to correct him because I'm afraid I might scream.

"Sorry, Teddy was being difficult this morning I'm here now anyway are you ready to go?" I let out a well needed sigh as I've been so tired for the last three weeks.

"What was wrong with him? Is he sick?" He sounds worried and that makes me happy.

"No he's ok just yeno hormones and all this stuff getting on top of him" I pick up Christian's bag and move away from him quickly before he can grab them off me.

"Anastasia can I have my bag back I can carry it to the car" He doesn't look pleased… In fact he looks angry. This I ignore and look over at his bedside locker where his wedding ring still lies. He pulls his jacket on wincing as he does this and I remember about his physical injury's aswel.

"Christian… don't forget your ring?"

"What ring?" he looks puzzled and this hurts me.

"Your wedding ring" as I say these words it's like a light switch has gone on in his head and he walks over and picks it up he doesn't put it on his finger he just slides it into his pocket. It's the longest he's ever had his ring off for and it hurts like I've been stabbed a thousand times. I'm so engulfed in my own hurt I hardly notice when he takes the bag off me and winces.

"You can't carry it Christian give it to me" I demand not actually caring about the bag but just being angry at the fact he didn't put his ring back on days ago.

"Anastasia if you know me at all you know very well not to defy me now drop this crap about what I'm able to do and what I'm not, I'll do as I please." And with that he stalks out of the room. I follow after him knowing he cant get far because he doesn't know where the car is let alone where he lives. His reaction intimidates me but doesn't bother me too much as Christian has always been like that. I know he doesn't mean to scare me so I don't hold it against him. He follows me in silence as we walk out to the jeep. We stop briefly at the reception desk as Christian has to sign a couple of forms. When we get to the jeep I'm afraid he's going to insist on driving but then I remember he cant with the tablets he took this morning. After we're ten minutes down the road he speaks.

"Taylor and Gail live with us?"

"Yeah I'm assuming Taylor would have told you this?"

"He did yes"

"Then why ask" I look at him bewildered, he doesn't answer me he just shoots me a breath taking Christian smile, and for a moment I see him, really see a part of the man I fell deeply in love with, and then he asks me a heart-breaking question.

"How do I contact Elena?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone this is not a cheating story and I would prefer if people didn't review via "guest" . As a response to one "Guest's" review I am a big fifty shades of grey fan and I didn't realise I had to disclose the fact that this is not a cheating story, but I have now put this information in the summary for people who were curious.**

**Thanks to all the other people reviewing and thanks for all the wonderful compliments about the story. If people start to dislike the story just let me know because there will be no point in me continuingJ thanks again. **

**Ana's pov**

Elena…Elena…Elena… will I tell him she's dead… good god what will I tell him? Will I lie? could I lie? I want to lie…

"Christian you don't talk to Elena anymore… in fact you have spoken to her since we got pregnant on Teddy" I try lighten the conversation with a nicer memory of our son hoping to distract Christian.

"Oh… Why don't I talk to her?" for fuck sake just let it go!

"She said some things that upset me and made you angry so you cut her out of our lives… there's a little bit more to the story then that obviously but we'll talk about that another time… Christian that woman is a hard limit for me… do you understand?" the minute I say the words "hard limit" Christians head swings towards me like a shot, now he knows the nature of our relationship I just hope he doesn't think he married a submissive. I can tell it unnerves him that I know about his old life style and he doesn't know me at all, yet he'll do well to remember that I'm his wife and I won't be spoken too or treated like a sub.

"This conversation isn't over" his voice fades away and I can't help but wish he'd talk to me about how he feels.

We arrive back at our home and I watch intensely to see if his memory is triggered… It doesn't appear so. I get to his bag before he does and I'm not taken by surprise when I feel him behind reaching for the bag. I didn't bother fighting this as I knew I hadn't a chance of winning. There was an electric charge running between me and my husband and I missed wrapping my body and arms around him.

I unlock the door and lead him into the kitchen. I go over to the fridge and take out a bottle of cool crisp white wine. God I need a drink! I pop open the bottle of wine and fill a large glass. I feel Grey eyes on me. He's breath taking , He leans up against the door jamb just like he's at home… he is home. There's a smile playing on his lips and I don't know why.

"Is my wife an alcoholic?" he asks a trace of humour in his voice.

"Eh no why do you ask?" I'd say I look confused.

"Because you came in the door and made a b-line straight for the wine… didn't even offer me any" he looks like he's messing with me… I love playful Christian.

"You can't have wine with sleeping tablets" I state matter of factly to hide the fact that I didn't offer my husband a drink.

"Show's how much you listened to the good doctor I'm off my sleeping tablets since I left the hospital" He smiles lightly and I can tell he's not hurt that I didn't pay attention.

"Oh… well in that case do you want a glass of wine?" I smile back and shake the bottle of wine up beside my head he nod's a yes and I start to fill up his glass too.

I show Christian to our room so he can set his bag down and unpack, what he says surprises me and upsets me.

"Where do you sleep"

"I sleep here with you in our bed" he looks shocked and then looks around at the things in this room that are mine clothes, jewellery, and other little bits. "would you prefer if I slept in the spare room?" as much as it hurts me to ask I know I must to make him feel uncomfortable.

"No its okay" my heart fills with joy and then crashes down again when he says his next sentence "I'll sleep in the spare room"

"No you should sleep here Christian, the doctor said to keep life as normal as possible… you should sleep in the bed you've always slept in okay?" I offer him a weak smile and then gather a few things I'll need for my night in the spare room. A short silk night dress and my long thin silk pale pink robe.

"After you've unpacked your things I'll heat up some of Mrs Taylor's chicken soup for lunch" he nods his head in agreement and I leave him in the room. When I return twenty minutes later. He's not where I left him panic sets in like I've lost a child in a store.

Why did we have to get such a big house, I'll never find him I quickly walk from room to room until I find him in his office staring at the massive portraits of me that hang on the wall. There the pictures that Jose took of me. Laughing, smiling, and pouting. It was one of the happiest times of my life until I met Christian and the image of the lost boy that is my husband staring at these picture's causes a lump to form in my throat. He must sense I'm near as he turns around, I straighten up and smile.

"You look beautiful in these Anastasia" he whispers and then suddenly grabs his desk and bends over in pain, I rush to his side, as he grabs his head in pain.

"Christian whats wrong will I ring the doctor" I start to panic slightly but as I reach for the phone in his office he grabs my hand.

"No its okay… just a sharp headache is all I need to sit down" I help him over to his chair behind his desk and then kneel down to look into his eyes.

"Fucking photographer" he whispers under his breathe. He remembers Jose!

"Christian! You remember Jose. I can't believe it" Happy tears fill my eyes as I stare into the eyes of Christian.

"How could I not remember a man who has been obsessed with getting into my wife's pants for quiet some time if my memory is correct?" he sounds like my Christian again.

"Do you remember anything else?" I hold out hope even though I know my hopes might be dashed in a moment, and they are.

"No… All I remember is the photographer is in love with you and wants in your pants Anastasia"

"Christian Jose is not in love with me and he doesn't want "in my pants" for heaven's sake he's married with four kids now!"

"I don't blame him for trying to get in you're pants Ana, your extremely attractive" These words send warm feelings through my stomach and tug and something deep inside. His fists bundle up at his sides again like the day at the hospital why is he so angry.

"Ana while you were in the kitchen I rang Dr Flynn I have an appointment for this evening… he's very happy to hear from me, I explained my… well our situation and he thinks it would be best if I asked you to join me in my session… would you come with me" Oh Christian I'd be more than happy to come with you in more ways then one trust me.

"Yes I'll come with you at what time?"

"Five, when we're finished we can stop for something to eat… That's if you want to of course" he looks so nervous and then something strikes me and I brust out laughing.

"What are you laughing at" he looks slightly annoyed but interested in seeing whats got me in the knots of laughter.

"Oh Christian I'm sorry it's just it sounds like my husband is asking me out on a date and I just can't help but find it funny"

"I don't date Ana… now do you want to go get something to eat after or not" Ah but you do fifty, you dated me.

"You dated me Christian… and Yes I'd like that" I smile proud and watch as he looks confused.

"Good you're a little on the slim side border line skeleton if I am to be honest you need to be fed" I try not to take offence as this is the way Christian has always been. "I was wondering in the hospital have you always been this thin but seeing these pictures I realise that you haven't"

"Well the last three weeks have been difficult" He looks away and I think I see guilt wrapped around his face, then once again he says something that shocks me.

"Ana, what negotiation's do we have in the pre-nup" eh… why is it me that's left to tell him everything. My palms get sweaty as I get ready to tell him that we don't have a pre-nup.

"Christian we never drew up one and the only thing I signed was our wedding certificate" Yes that's right fifty we don't have a pre-nup or a contract. I can see the shock and rage build up inside. Oh my god is he planning on leaving me. Panic set's in but is soon gone as Christian slams his fist on the table in front of him giving me a fright.

"What!" he says through gritted teeth I lean back as I see the anger build up more and more.

"Christian…" I'm cut off.

"Get out!" I wait a moment and then he roar's at me "For fuck sake Anastasia get the fuck out!" I jump up and nearly run from the room. What the hell has gotten into him, then I remember the time when the Jack Hyde situation was going on and I didn't listen to him when he was in New York. I went out for drinks with Kate only to return with Jack Hyde subdued in the apartment. God Christian was angry that time if I re-call his words **"I want to punish you… really beat the shit out of you" he said in such a monosyllabic tone.**_ (This line was taken from fifty shades of freed by EL James line sixteen page 218) _

I walk into the kitchen and start to wash our wine glasses, tear's spill over my lower eyelashes and I sob into the glasses by the sink. I get so upset that I don't see what I'm doing and end up knocking over the bottle of wine why the hell did I leave it there. Oh god Christian's leaving me why else would he ask about the pre-nup, I realise that this is my worst nightmare come to real life. My Christian doesn't want me anymore. I don't know how I'll manage without him, I sink to floor beside the sink and end up sitting on broken glass and wine. I sob into my hands thinking about the Children, then I feel warm hands on my shoulders, I don't dare look as I know seeing his face will only make matter's worse. He lifts me in one easy movement out of the broken glass. I keep my eyes closed as I'm placed on soft material I know I'm in our bedroom placed sitting up on the bed. I open my eye's only to be met with his. The sob's and tear's continue to leave my body and I don't know how I'm going to calm them down before we go see Dr Flynn.

"Ana I apologise for my outburst, I'm just angry at myself and confused, It's like now that I know that there's no pre-nup I obviously trust and love you enough to never need one, and those are… well there… feelings I suppose… feelings that I just can't get my head around"

"But why are you so angry with me all the time… I cant remember if this is the way you were in the beginning or not… I'm so tired Christian and so worn out and you didn't fucking marry a submissive so don't talk to me and treat me like I am one" I inwardly feel guilty for acting like a bitch when I know he's just trying to get used to the way things are.

"Go to sleep Ana, rest before we have to leave" he pulls over a chair and sits beside the bed as I pull a blanket over myself. I drift off looking at his face and then before I know it I'm gone, I sleep so easily in the presence of Christian. I dream of happy thing's, until I'm awoken to the sound of our shower being turned off.

Christian steps out of the bathroom a few minutes later wrapped in just a towel, that man's body has never changed, if anything its gotten even better.

"I was just about to wake you, it's four" he smiles and it touches my heart to see him even the slightest bit happy.

I yawn and then clamber out of bed and into the walk in closet, I get undressed as I decided that jeans and a cardigan isn't the best thing to wear to a Doctor's office. I stand in a purple lace thong and matching bra when I turn to reach for a grey pencil skirt Christian catches my eye, he stands in the door way of the wardrobe with his fists clenched once again, he looks so sexy still wet from the his shower.

"Your clothes are on the aisle behind me Christian, and there's more clothes in the wardrobe out there" he still stares as I point to the bedroom.

"Thanks" he turns away and closes the door's behind him. I slip on my skirt and a purple shirt with black high heels.

I sit at my vanity table and pull my hair up into a tight doughnut bun a few strands escape my grasp and I leave them to frame my face.

Christian stood with the Pajero key's in his hand, I want to scream at him and tell him he can't drive to the doctor's office not with these spontaneous headaches, I hold my tongue as I do not wish to anger him and also because Dr. Flynn's office isn't that far away. He was dressed in one of his Armani suit's he didn't wear a tie he just left the first few button's undone on his shirt so a hint of his chest hair peaked out from under his shirt, he looked beautiful. And he smelled like heaven.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Are you going to drive?"

"I am. Do you have an objection's to this?"

"Yes I would feel more comfortable driving us, seen as though you don't know where the good doctor's new office's is" This hurt Christian and to be honest I don't know why. I put out my hand and waited for him to give me the keys, he did so with ease and then followed me out to the jeep.

"Where are the other car's?" he asked.

"The Jaguar, The Mini, The BMW and the two Audi's are in the garage, there's also a Harley." He nodded his head in agreement and seemed pleased with my answer. Yes Christian you are still extremely rich.

"Why do you drive this Jeep?"

"You prefer me to drive this when I'm taking the kids anywhere, because it's safer than the other car's and to be honest I just got used to this, I like my jeep, do you want me drive us in one of the other car's?"

"No you're okay let's just stick with this"

"Dr. Flynn will be so happy to see you Christian" I tried to lighten the mood. It didn't work, why had his mood suddenly changed?

"Hmm Yes I'm sure he will."

We arrive at the doctor's office within thirty minutes right on time.

"Why are we sitting in the waiting room our appointment is at five its ten past"

"Christian be patient, please" I look up and him hoping to calm him slightly, it works. And just as he physically relaxes Dr. Flynn steps out to welcome us into his office, Christian storms ahead.

"For god sake Flynn we have reservations for half six I'm going to have to cancel now" Christians not impressed.

"Don't be ridiculous Christian it's only ten minutes" He gives me a deathly look and I can see Dr. Flynn take note of this, he leans in and kisses both my cheeks and shakes my hand. He ignores Christian's outburst.

"Good evening Anastasia how have you been?" The doctor gives me a sympathetic look and I return his question with a weak smile he can tell how difficult its been. He then turns his attention to Christian.

"Christian how have you been?"

"That's a stupid question Flynn" Christian really isn't impressed.

"Please Christian sit down tell me what's bothering you?" Christian sits down.

"Besides the fact the I cant remember my wife my kids and my life… I'm fine Flynn just fine!" I don't know what the hell has gotten into him since we got into the jeep he's turned into a nightmare!

"Ana how are you handling things" Christian looks at me silently awaiting an answer.

"I… I don't know… I'm trying to adjust… I'm worried."

"Worried about what" Flynn sat across from us scribbling on a note pad also awaiting answers from myself, answer's that I didn't know how to give. I stared down at my hands as I fumbled with then suddenly feeling afraid and self-conscious.

"I'm worried that he'll leave me and return to his… old… lifestyle… I'm worried about what will happen to myself and the children if he leaves" I sigh loudly and then tell Flynn one of my biggest fears. "I'm worried about what he expects from our sex life… I feel like we're back at where we were all though years ago and I'm so afraid that I won't be enough for him and I won't be what he wants and need's… as he very well pointed out once I don't have a submissive bone in my body"

Christian stares at me his lips set in a tight straight line.

"What is our sex life like…" Christian asks the question I know he's been dying to hear the answer to.

"We have a normal healthy sex life most of the time but we still dabble in what you call kinky fuckery… you spank me when given permission we use restraints, and sex toys and we just have consensual sex… you don't hurt me though, you don't…beat me" Christian inhales rather loudly and that's the sound that I didn't want to hear, he sounds disappointed.

"Christian how do you feel about this?" Dr. Flynn is interested to hear Christian's answer.

"To be honest I'm slightly relieved I don't want to hurt her… in fact it makes me feel rather ill at even the thought of hurting her… I don't know why and this anger's me."

"Ana have you told Christian about the incident in the playroom all those years ago?" Oh Dr. Flynn why have you opened up this old wound? Christians head snaps towards me and I can feel Grey eyes bore into the side of my head.

"What happened?... Anastasia don't ignore me what happened?... Flynn why isn't she telling me?" I really don't want to have this conversation with Christian again.

"Ana would you like me to explain what happened in you and Christian's first couple of weeks together. I nod and then rub my eyes once again feeling extremely tired. Christian turns his attention towards Flynn scrunching up a fist full of his trousers' in frustration.

"Christian Ana was never a submissive she never knew of your lifestyle… matter of fact she was a virgin when you two both met she decided to take you up on your offer of trying to be your submissive if you tried to give her more. One night she asked to show you how bad it can be the pain of what you could inflict on her… you compiled with her request and struck her with a leather belt quite a few times she was too shocked to use your safe word and you ended up hurting her badly… she broke up with you and left when you both reunited you didn't have the need to want to inflict pain on her it disturbed you to even think about it. I find it very interesting that even though you can't remember this you can still feel the feeling of disgust towards this topic that's something you should talk to your doctor about." I let out a breath when Flynn had finished and then I felt his eyes on me again.

"Why didn't you safe word" What! Why the hell is he asking me this?

"Flynn just explained Christian… I was too shocked I wanted to please you… and I just wanted to please you"

"Well you clearly didn't" he sounded cold.

"Stop acting like that and talking to me like that stop being so cold towards me. All that stuff is in the past we've moved on and now we can trust each other. You can trust me to tell you to stop when it gets too much and I can trust you not to hurt me when we do go back to Escala to venture into the playroom so just stop acting like an arse okay!" I huff and again feel guilt. He looks at me shocked and then starts to smile.

"What the hell are you smiling at?" I demand to know

"Ive never been spoken to like that by a woman… I have to admit I find it quite attractive Mrs Grey" Christian's smouldering eyes meet mine and for the first time since he's woken up I see fire burning behind his eyes. He looks like a lion ready to pounce.


End file.
